Drinking from the bidet!

Not the actual toilet from the incident, but just offered as a reference.

In honor of the full moon and our first Friday the 13th of the school year tomorrow, I just have to share a moment from my classroom today.

It is the latest in a line of adventures with one of my new little friends who truly, despite what you read next, brings a smile to my face every day.  He is one of those kiddos who is never late, never sick, and never boring.  He has his own little backpack of interesting personality traits that he brings with him every day.  He constantly keep me on my toes.  One day, he left the lunch room to sneak back into our class to use the date stamp on every available surface.  He is that kid, who without fail, ends up with more marker on himself than on his paper whenever he writes.  Just this week, he succeeded in fitting his entire fist into his full glass of water at lunch, covering not just the table but anyone near him with a lunchtime shower.  At least it wasn’t his juice.  He tends to save the juice to dip his spaghetti noodles into.  To his credit, he eats them happily afterwards.  On his way out the door the other day, he politely informed me that the carpet might be wet.  When I asked him why, he said it was because his pants were.  Case closed, call the custodian.  

Which brings us to today.  If I haven’t mentioned it, I have a boys and girls bathroom in my classroom, which has some serious advantages as far as not worrying about kids walking through the halls and not coming back.  One disadvantage is that there is no door on the bathroom, just a heavy vinyl curtain.  Said curtain does a very mediocre job of containing any smells from the bathroom.  Not surprisingly, it also does a less than effective job of deafening any sounds involved in producing the aforementioned smell.  And guess who typically is involved in the full body experience when they are taking care of business?  Yes, my new best friend.  I was fairly confident early on in the year, based solely on the amount of sound he was making during my writing lesson, that he was passing a kidney stone. Turns out he is just an exuberant participant in his bodily processes.  

What caught my attention today was the noticeable lack of sound while he was in the bathroom.  Upon not hearing him, I poked my head around the corner to see the soles of his two little shoes poking up at me from just outside the curtain, which means my friend was kneeling on the other side right next to the toilet.  I do admit to a short pause while I pondered what exactly he was doing (aka what in the . . .?). Then it struck me.  He is right next to the bidet hose. Why would he be kneeling next to the bidet hose?  As much as I wanted to poke my head around the curtain, I decided that the whispering of his name would elicit a very informative response.  It did.  My little friend shot up like a rocket, ran out of the stall, and stood in front of me with water dripping from his arms, shirt, and face.  Can I 100% confirm that he was drinking from the bidet hose, no.  Can I reasonably assume that he was using the bidet in a manner inconsistent with its intent, yes.  Can I get the thought of someone drinking from a bidet hose out of my head, double no.  With the urge to smile and laugh welling up inside me, all I was able to muster up as far as a consequence was to have him repeat after me, “the bathroom is not for playing.”  Weak I know, but I was in no place for anything else.

So, no matter how tough your day is tomorrow, just be happy you aren’t drinking from the bidet!